In honor of being a part of this year’s Winter of Zombie blog tour, here is a set of short stories written exclusively for the visitors to the tour. These were started back during the Summer of Zombie tour. They’re from the perspective of one Tony the Zombie and his personal gripes against us humans. Typed out by Greg P. Ferrell because really, have you ever seen a zombie use a keyboard? It’s not pretty.
A day in my dead life!
By: Tony the zombie
Translated by: Greg P. Ferrell
A moment of zen with me, Tony the Zombie today. So the other day I was shambling down a long stretch of road, and I came to fork in the road. I looked down both roads and was confused by which way I should go. One path was littered with those metal boxes you people like to run over us with and debris and fallen trees blocked the other. I had a brief moment where I vaguely remembered something from my human life about taking the road less dangerous or something like that. I decided to go down the car-strewn path.
As I shambled past all of the empty metal boxes my mind wandered as I gazed upon them. They reminded me of something else from my human life, my female birth giver used to call Happy Meals. I remembered them fondly coming in a box that I would open and find some edible items in but also there was always a surprise mixed in with the food. I remembered that made me happy, hence the name of them. I looked upon these metal boxes and realized they are our versions of Happy Meals, and I almost had a smile come across my face.
That was until I stepped on something and a huge net scooped me up into the sky. As I thrashed about in the net trying to free myself I realized the folly of my decision. The next time I come across a fork in the road I’m turning around and traveling down the road I’ve already traveled because there was no freaking traps on that road.
Tony the Zombie here to tell you from experience, don’t get so lost in thought that you fail to identify a trap or you could end up like me, swaying in the winter breeze hoping nobody is on the way to stab you in the brain. Hopefully I will talk to you soon.
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The stench of frozen flesh is in the air! Welcome to the Winter of Zombie Blog Tour 2015, with 40+ of the best zombie authors spreading the disease in the month of November.
Stop by the event page on Facebook so you don’t miss an interview, guest post or teaser…and pick up some great swag as well!
Giveaways galore from most of the authors as well as interaction with them!
#WinterofZombie is the hashtag for Twitter, too!