A Few Thoughts On Escaping From Zombies
Sure zombies are dangerous, and gross, but there are many other hazards during an apocalypse, even in the non-apocalyptic world, that you need to be aware of. First off keep an eye forward when trying to escape from them as you could trip. Here are a few things to look out for that can save your life. Some are obvious and require only a sentence or two. Some dangers aren’t the zombies but the environment and, as is often the case, the living.
Seems like a no brainer (pun intended), but you’d be surprised how many folks take off running, looking back over their shoulder, just to run right into another swarm. They may be brainless, slow moving, and silent but the zees have a way of getting the jump on you. So avoid the blind flight.
Another pun! Just as bad as coming face to face with another swarm is running into a dead end where escape is impossible.
Don’t Attract Them In The First Place
I don’t want to be a killjoy, but the apocalypse isn’t the time for joking and laughing. Don’t have spontaneous singalongs no matter how low your spirits are. Keep gun shots, yelling, and all noise to a minimum. And for Pete’s sake don’t have gladiatorial combat no matter how bored you are. Injured people scream, crowds cheer and boo. It gets out of hand real quick. Next thing you know the guy nudging you for a better view of the action is taking a bite out of your neck.
Save your energy for when you really need it. Avoid running full tilt at all times. Nothing’s worse than finally seeing that fence you can climb to leave the zed heads behind and losing steam. Seeing the dead heads closing in all around because you can’t sprint ten yards is not only disappointing but deadly.
How many times have I seen a survivor blow a foot off or kill a pal because they run around with their finger on the trigger and the safety off? More than I care to count (okay three times). There’s a reason you were told as a youngster, don’t run with scissors. Same holds true for knifes, guns, and other dangerous items. And while we are on the topic of tripping, don’t do it. It can get you killed.
Safe But Trapped
Yep, we have all made that mistake. Sure it’s better to be alive and trapped on a roof or in a car, but unless you are prepared and lucky you will run out of provisions, and possibly life and sanity, long before the dead get tired of waiting to eat you. They can stand in one place for days, even weeks, just a slapping and a moaning, a moaning and a slapping. If no one comes along you may die in the car or die fighting your way out. And trust me, after a few days in a car you won’t be at your best for zombie fighting. While we are speaking cars, don’t forget to make sure there are no living dead inside the car before you jump in, remember to try the ignition as you may be able to drive away, and you can even try putting the vehicle in neutral. Maybe you’ll get lucky and roll far and fast and make your get away. And if you are trapped in a car don’t scream and beat on the windows. Try and get out of sight and sit perfectly still, there’s a chance they will wander away, but not if you’re panicking and pounding and reminding them there’s food in the big metal box.
Drainage Pipes and the Like
The sewer system can make for a quick getaway but there are dangers that sometimes can’t be avoided. Zombies can make their way into the sewer systems too. Dangerous gasses fill these subterranean spaces. Wild animals are often in the pipes too. Bears have been known to seek refuge in drainage pipes as well as raccoons, dogs, and of course rats. All diseased biters. Sewer pipes are pitch black and it is easy to get lost. Careful you don’t pop out of the sewer, blinded by the sun, in the middle of a swarm. Stop, look, and listen.
And of course one of the biggest dangers during an apocalypse are other (living) humans. The basic rule of thumb is trust no one. The apocalypse tends to bring the best and the worst out of people so you can take no chances. If someone goes by the name Viper, Blood, Snake, Knife, Sicko, or Turd Ferguson there’s a chance they aren’t good folk. And if they are too nice and clean and go by names like Suzy and Jimmy, they are even more suspect. Don’t hang out with folks that like to look at each other sideways and smile creepily when you talk. Don’t eat or drink anything offered by anyone that’s not factory sealed, especially if they repeatedly insist that you eat or drink it. Instead pretend to imbibe and if you see an evil glint in their eyes, or they smile creepily at each other, throw it down and yell, “Psych!” and run away. Keep an eye out for signs of cannibalism like large slabs of butchered meat hanging from hooks everywhere. If everyone is wearing a bloody apron that’s a bad sign too. For some reason I always find that people who make armor out of old tires and random garbage are a bit off and almost always bad news. If you see a barrel of zombie heads, bad. If you see a pit with zombies chained up, run. If you are asked to turn over your weapons, run. And finally, when in doubt, run but look where you are going!
Luke Ahearn was born in New Orleans, LA. In addition to several fiction books he’s most recently completed Transformation, the second book in the Euphoria Z Series. He has over 20 years of professional game development experience in lead positions; designer, producer, and art director. He’s also authored several bestselling nonfiction books on computer game development. He owns a small prop studio and specializes in pirate art and props for theme parks, resorts, and other clients. He can be reached at http://www.LukeAhearn.com.
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The stench of rotting flesh is in the air! Welcome to the Summer of Zombie Blog Tour 2015, with 30+ of the best zombie authors spreading the disease in the month of June.
Stop by the event page on Facebook so you don’t miss an interview, guest post or teaser…and pick up some great swag as well!
Giveaways galore from most of the authors as well as interaction with them!
#SummerofZombie is the hashtag for Twitter, too!