10 Tips on Finding Love during the Zombie Apocalypse
Finding love during a zombie apocalypse can be tricky, but with the right guidance, even you can find a way to make your heart soar while spattered in zombie goo. After all, Glenn and Maggie from “The Walking Dead” perfected the art. In my novel The Harvesting, Layla and Jamie find a way to make things work. What about you? When it all ends, could you find a new beginning? Maybe we can learn some lessons from these war-torn z-poc survivors. But how to you do it? Let’s take a look at 10 ways to find love during the zombie apocalypse:
10) Assume that Warm Bodies was a one-shot deal. Avoid coming on to the undead.
9) If you are lucky enough to find the right person, learn how to moan like a zombie. No more “to the heavens” chortles. If you learn to moan like a zombie, the undead are more likely to ignore you and you won’t get caught in any embarrassing positions. No one wants to run from zombies with their pants around their ankles.
8) Never miss an opportunity for a “safe sex zone.” You’ve just cleared out a bunker full of zombies and there is a really cozy closet down the hall away the rest of the group. What are you waiting for?
7) Reconsider your standards. Okay, maybe you didn’t love rednecks in your everyday life, but chances are that if there is a redneck about (male or female), they’ve got the chops to make it in the z-poc. It might be time to warm up. Git-r-done, y’all!
6) Get over hang-ups about hygiene: perfume, cologne, deodorant, a toothbrush, a shower . . . all things of the past. If you want to connect with someone over a can of dog food, you need to let go of your feelings about bad-breath.
5) You will likely be dead tomorrow. If you think he or she might be interested, just make a move.
4) Do not use protection (wait for it . . . ). Let’s set STDs aside for a moment and talk about pregnancy. Almost every movie and book assures us that if you get pregnant, your child will save humanity. The cure will be in their blood. While it would be very annoying to have a STD during the apocalypse, don’t let that crush the chance to save mankind. Don’t be selfish.
3) Examine your group. Are there any couples? No? Every story always depicts one “sweet” couple. If your group is currently lacking this couple, you and your partner might be able to take over this stock-character/relational role. Your “too sweet to kill” love story might just save you come z-day. Go ahead and try to have a real relationship. On the other hand, if you see your partner making eyes at others in your group, run away! Getting involved in a love triangle almost certainly spells death.
2) The rules of Zombieland suggest double-tap . . . and so do I.
1) Learn how to make love with your boots on and the safety off.
I hope these 10 rules helped you get ready for all the zombie-lovin’ fun you can have. If you would like to learn more about how to survive during the zombie apocalypse, please check The Harvesting Series in Amazon!
About the Author:
Melanie Karsak is the best-selling author of the The Airship Racing Chronicles (Chasing the Star Garden and Chasing the Green Fairy), the award-winning horror/dark fantasy Harvesting Series, and The Saga of Lady Macbeth. She grew up in rural northwestern Pennsylvania and earned a Master’s degree in English from Gannon University. A steampunk connoisseur, white elephant collector, and zombie whisperer, the author currently lives in Florida with her husband and two children. She is an Instructor of English at Eastern Florida State College.
Buy The Harvesting Series:
The Harvesting: http://amzn.com/B009GI3YBY
The Shadow Aspect: http://amzn.com/B00WDI66K0
Connect with the Author Online:
For VIP previews, free short stories, sneak peeks, and giveaways, join my mailing list: http://eepurl.com/OSPDH
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The stench of rotting flesh is in the air! Welcome to the Summer of Zombie Blog Tour 2015, with 30+ of the best zombie authors spreading the disease in the month of June.
Stop by the event page on Facebook so you don’t miss an interview, guest post or teaser…and pick up some great swag as well!
Giveaways galore from most of the authors as well as interaction with them!
#SummerofZombie is the hashtag for Twitter, too!