Schwarzenegger + Zombies. Should be a smash hit, right? Not so much!
The other night my husband looked at me with a goofy grin. He then proceeded to tell me that he wanted to rent a movie, and he’d found the absolute perfect one that would meet both our preferences. I went with it, and as soon as it began playing, I praised him for being spot-on. He loves action, I love zombies. It’s not often that our two worlds collide with such kismet. But that day, they did. Arnold Schwarzenegger went way out of his comfort zone and starred in a zombie movie. Crazy, right?
I’d seen the previews, and my expectations were appropriately set. I knew going into the film that it would be a slow burn. World War Z, Maggie would not be. I was right, but I wish I hadn’t been. I’m sad to report that Maggie was a major disappointment. If you want horror, you’ll get about thirty seconds of it. If you want to see Arnold cry like a baby for ninety minutes, then this is the movie for you.
Seriously, I think he cried more in this film than in all of his body of work combined. And why, sweet Jesus, did they dye his hair that dark? It just looked weird. The story jumped around, providing only a miniscule glance into what happened to bring the story to present time. But it didn’t actually give any good zombie lore. Just, hey, there’s zombies. We aren’t gonna tell you why or how, just deal with it. The best word to describe Maggie is forgettable. I’m disappointed that what I’d hoped to be an excellent addition to the genre was actually a total melodrama.
As if the movie in its entirety wasn’t dull enough, the ending is sure to inspire any hardcore zombiephile to throw popcorn and yell at the screen. It was bad enough that the most action came from Arnold’s tear ducts, but to deprive viewers of the sweet payoff of that crucial moment where an infected takes its last breath is downright sadistic!
Can I have my ninety minutes back? Please?
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Shana Festa grew up in the small town of Northborough Massachusetts. As an impressionable tike, she shared in her father’s love for Horror, and spent most of her childhood hiding under the blankets worrying what nightmarish creature lurked in her closet. She grew up on a healthy diet of classics like Nightmare on Elm Street, Return of the Living Dead, American Werewolf in London, Child’s Play and Poltergeist.
Her writing career was born from her long-time addiction to terrifying tales. Under her alter ego, The Bookie Monster, Shana reviews horror and paranormal books, with an emphasis on zombie fiction. Her altruistic beliefs fuse seamlessly with The Bookie Monster’s mission to provide readers with honest reviews and to provide authors with a platform to promote their labors of love.
Shana holds a degree in nursing and now resides in Cape Coral, Florida with her husband and two adorable dogs. In addition to her apocalyptic series, TIME OF DEATH, she is a founding member of AT HELL’S GATES, a horror anthology series dedicated to supporting the brave men and women of our Armed Forces through the Intrepid Fallen Heroes Fund.
Author Website: http://www.shanafesta.com
At Hell’s Gates: http://www.athellsgates.com
The Bookie Monster: http://www.bookie-monster.com
The Bookie Monster Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/thebookiemonster
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The stench of rotting flesh is in the air! Welcome to the Summer of Zombie Blog Tour 2015, with 30+ of the best zombie authors spreading the disease in the month of June.
Stop by the event page on Facebook so you don’t miss an interview, guest post or teaser…and pick up some great swag as well!
Giveaways galore from most of the authors as well as interaction with them!
#SummerofZombie is the hashtag for Twitter, too!