In honor of being a part of this year’s Summer of Zombie blog tour here is a set of short stories written exclusively for the visitors to the tour. They’re from the perspective of one Tony the Zombie and his personal gripes against us humans. Typed out by Greg P. Ferrell because really have you ever seen a zombie use a keyboard, it’s not pretty.
A day in my dead life!
By: Tony the zombie
My name is Tony or at least that’s what it says on the nametag on my shirt and I’m a zombie. Now I don’t want you to feel bad for me I’m actually enjoying this whole back from the dead thing I have going on, well most of the time anyway. Right now is not one of those times. You see I was chasing some prey and kinda got myself into a pickle now.
I originally found my prey as they were getting out of one of those big metal things with wheels that they so love to run me and my friends over with. I started to chase them and before long I found them trying to hide in one of the big snack boxes as we call them. Unfortunately for them the big rectangular hole was already broken and I was able to go inside it after them. Well I made a mistake and chased them through the house and into a room where the rectangular holes had panel on them and they closed the holes up on me. Now I’m stuck inside here and cant find a way out.
I figured while I’m in here I would discuss some of the things that really irritate me and my friends as we chase you warm bodied morsels down. So sit back and listen and maybe you will learn a few things before this is over.
Number 1: Rectangular holes are not supposed to be blocked. Now we undead do appreciate the little round ornaments you hang on each of them but really those things are pointless and don’t add much to the viewing pleasure for those of us stuck on the other side. It takes us a long time to scratch and claw through those panels you put in our way and it does a number on our fingernails which, we need to rip into the soft covering most of you have to get to the good meat. I mean look at me now trapped in here by myself. I have no body else to help me push through the panel in my way and even if I did it takes a good twenty or thirty of us to bust through one anyway. These things need to go away.
Number 2: the other smaller rectangle hole with the invisible magic shield over it. Again what is the point? I can see you through it so I know you’re there and obviously you can see me because you make that loud noise with your mouth. Those things are really annoying. I try to go through the hole and I break my nose on it. If I felt pain anymore that would probably really hurt. They’re a little weaker than the big rectangular panels but they’re usually up high and we have to crawl though them, which somehow inevitably ends up tearing the clothes off of us or worse ripping through our skin. If that is what they are supposed to do then bravo it succeeded but really it’s just annoying. We’re not very vain as a species but some of us just don’t need to be walking around naked.
So that’s it for now but please come back soon as I vent more about what gets under my skin. Right now I just saw a smaller rectangular portal on the other wall that might be a way for me to get out of here. I think I’ll just run face first at it and see.
Read more Blogs by Greg P. Ferrell at https://ragnorakk.wordpress.com
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The stench of rotting flesh is in the air! Welcome to the Summer of Zombie Blog Tour 2015, with 30+ of the best zombie authors spreading the disease in the month of June.
Stop by the event page on Facebook so you don’t miss an interview, guest post or teaser…and pick up some great swag as well!
Giveaways galore from most of the authors as well as interaction with them!
#SummerofZombie is the hashtag for Twitter, too!